and THATS why they came up with the phrase "what happens in vegas, stays in vegas" for a reason

So you know how theres those people who are so painfully on the prowl for "the one"? or maybe not even the EXACT one, but sometimes when dudes (or girls) are so unbelievably desperate for love they are convinced that every halfway decent person they meet is like their soul mate and every step they've taken in their lives has brilliantly lead them to THIS moment where they have met THIS person... If you have never before been prowled by one of these predators then guess what my friends, you probably are one. If thats the case, please do the world a service and re evaluate your life immediately.

These people.... the prowlers.... should NEVER BE ALLOWED IN VEGAS. Because you see, when you're in vegas, the world is a better place and the general assumption is that everyone is there on the same agenda. To have the time of their life for a few days (and by days i mean nights), then go home to spend a day or so in recovery, and then forget about everything they have said, done, spent, worn, sang or drank during those days.

My recent trip to Vegas was very educational for me as far as protecting myself from men looking to find the future mother of their children on Las Vegas Blvd. I shall share 2 of these gems of wisdom with you.
Lesson one: do NOT give specifics of where you work. These people will somehow find a connection to you through your place of employment and put it on the 'its a sign that were meant to be list.' Listen dude.... just because your friend has a membership at 24 hour fitness and your cousins girlfriend works the kids club at 24 hour fitness and the person you bought your goldfish from is a part time trainer at 24 hour fitness does NOT mean that we have something in common since i work 21.5 hours a week at 24 hour fitness. And while i'm on that point, dont call me at work either. I will kick you in the face. Seriously.
Lesson two. and this is a very important one: Even though you might have accidentally given your phone number out to one of these guys, or accepted their friend request that they sent 3.7 seconds after learning your name does NOT mean that you should continue any sort of verbal contact with them post vegas trip. Communication should end immediately once you board your flight. Other wise they will buy plane tickets, book a hotel and come visit you. At which point you must become a master in the art of operation: ditch the douche bags. But i'll save that brilliant lesson for another post...